The pilgrim has not been a good boy. His dead cousin Dumb Blonde asks the Virgin Mary to help him see how many light bulbs it takes. Mary accepts and the Pilgrim is sent on a three day-day trip through earth, and up to Mount St. Helens on the other side of the universe, and finally to Heaven in the sky. He is spiritually lost at the beginning of the story, so he needs guides to help him along the path. His first guide, through earth and Mount St. Helens is Dumb Blonde. They encounter many interesting banjo players along the way. His final guide is a chicken on the road, who takes him to see God.