Wild Honey in Stereo

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“Wild Honey in Stereo” is appropriation novelist Todd Van Buskirk’s newest sensation. The author searched fan-fiction sites and found a novella length story of his favorite TV show, written in French. Van Buskirk took this text, and used Google Translate to translate the French text into the obscure “Gujaraji” language. He then took the Gujaraji version and translated it to English. Van Buskirk took the English version and changed all the names of the original TV characters into names that mean something to the author in his personal life. An example is the name “Rochelle,” a name the author would have had if he had been born a girl. The text was then dumped into the famous Markov Text Synthesizer to remix and expand the 9000 word text into a 130,000 word epic!

Excerpt:

17:08 – 1 May 1985
It was cold. The first sensation was familiar. Freezing cold, callous, if the blood flowing through his veins had suddenly changed to ice.
Ceiling above them, a raw and aggressive, white, natural expansion of the impression that he is drowning. A bare light bulb, the crushing of the surface from disrupting an existing large aircraft, the diffuse light of a particularly violent. When he closes the eyes to protect themselves, their eyelids in the bright region, printed on the metal.
The right side, only one clock edge in the field of vision of the world as sterile as the rest of the wall where it is connected to sauni. The hands move slowly, gradually, as the seconds passed. The number of seconds you? He is not sure. It does not matter.
It seems the world is strangely distant, if it is no longer a casual observer that the space time was different.
The idea, somewhere, in some comfort.
However, his body is still there, and I connected it to prevent from letting go. Each cell in the cold, cold, and that may spread to the uncontrollable shaking embarrassed if they would have been able to shake. In contrast, the humid heat of the world, he believes, his stomach and chest – the taste of a hot iron on his tongue, and velvety, which he failed to hold the original, but one particular corner waving his brain alarms Bell.
And then the pain, which gradually took precedence over the numbing of the senses – the first deaf and acute and unbearably shrill, somewhere in his rib area.It is only there because it is tough for any reason without explanation.
There is something else. About significant emotional weight on his right shoulder slightly, but he feels it is necessary – more than anything else.
When it come, slowly turning the head to try to identify the source. His body is violently opposed, but this is now secondary.
There, his shoulder against the end face scarlet lips, blue eyes wide open in a losing something inaccessible. Red is a thin stream to the mouth as well, with a thin line image of a pale cheek. Fabric flowers, swirls, his clothes contrasting with the black cloth.
Rochelle.
He undertook to increase, will be passed to the hands through his hair, his finger to his lips draw the profile – but his body seems to handle slowly away, leaving him powerless against the terror of the waves of consciousness that is slightly less than the creeps.
The internal reflection, or even a clear idea, just a primordial instinct that suggests that Rochelle is already present, and the painful reality that so far he will let it go away.
He lost, and it can not be reached.
I am sorry, thin piece of his mind to still be able to make terms with the idea. He opens the mouth, may be repeated aloud out, however, that no one is saying.
But the world can take the initiative before the black.
18:32 – 1 May 1985
Thinking, at the bottom of the cup, he drinks coffee from last ukalani swallow the bitter residue. The rain falls harder and harder, Pennsylvania, as a gust of wind swept the north of the period and an unusually cold period in May for the months of violence.
Before it on the coffee table, black and white chess pieces on a set covered the full system, because the group dealing with the William. Van Buskirk and William is an alternative – to completely fail, but they still need to consider – Isaac only hope that both of them, sooner or later, may eventually adhere to recover. But each passing day, each day that no progress is more likely to make this less likely. His condition is completely stabilized, it is synonymous with an experienced eye doctor Isaac Was the bad news. For one another.
At the FBI, the unpleasant feeling that the situation is already beginning to settle.Research on the course, but we all know, and Isaac the first, five days after the survey does not provide any indication, the less chance now to find out. They are very good specialists, after all, the agents can search for all discoverable.
And for all, as much as he, perplexed with.
Rochelle body, he will eventually return to his family tomorrow, then that part resigned to the murder weapon, without more information than is provided in nature. A funeral will be held in the form of sunk in that simple state of shock.
Visit Van Buskirk and William Peters decisis their attention to the refrigerator wall and the angle between the seat, knee and place the meat in the chest Bent – apparently oblivious to the hell that is.
“Williams – Take care of Peters.” An order that the dry, biting away spontaneously. They question the nightmare scenario in the middle in the presence of an agent Peters waste of time. At least to save the life of Todd Van Buskirk – present their views on a matter, perhaps, be able to succeed is through.
Under her fingers, rapid pulse beats too fast, indicating a state of shock. Scarlet flowing from Van Buskirk’s mouth to his lungs in the groove “internal bleeding”, which is removed from the Isaac says. Around the most for a pair of scissors to work on the plan view, with a blood-soaked shirt and uses it for cover.
Anticipating the worst, but you can not help in any way, to discover the extent of losses to open the eyes.
Knife, he thinks. A knife, only one, a devilishly accurate and confident inflicted by an attacker. Wound few inches long, oblique to the sternum, approximately 2.5 cm below Extended. Isaac also is that all internal damage to the chest area of the weapon might not want to think about.
A nasty little voice somewhere deep in his skull, whispers that the impressive amount of blood in the course of the main trunk is damaged or lost a friend and colleague.
If the aorta is affected, then only the fact that Van Buskirk is still alive is a miracle is.
And the existence of a compact.
Now, they try to stem the bleeding can not be anything else. A pair to wear sterile gloves, puts his hands on the wound, the skin is abnormally cold mate, and press with all its might. The corner of his eye he sees William Peters is still sitting on the floor, Officer Williams to his side by a kneeling, apparently perplexed. Physically, – Peters sees the whole, he noted. Mentally, he saw William Peters has never lost his cool and cold – but completely disconnected from reality than it looks.
The minutes passed, the infinite, which is pressed on the Isaac Todd’s Belly, the condition gradually began Horror makes her look her way.
Rochelle Peters died. Murder. Van Buskirk and, if it is not actually very relieved to come away not, and can follow the same path.
Just when the dark thoughts come in his mind, he heard in the distance, some vehicles with sirens. Hope that soon falters when the pulse rate by Van Buskirk on his throat once again, it’s hard to feel under the fingers – Born, he felt a growing hope in one breath.
“I do not make the Todd. Please, I do not.” The prayers and supplications to his specialty, but this time he has nothing else to say.
In any case, it will be surprised to hear Van Buskirk.
It is behind a door slams, and was suddenly attacked by reinforcements kitchen – his blue anorak, FBI, local police, doctors and white quotes and some men, stretchers and oxygen mask, which fits in with the officials wearing.
Isaac stands up, and a uniformed police officer on his left, the camera starts. Hall briefly flash with a flash of white latency, and other skin also looks pale Van Buskirk. How can one man be so alive with serious injuries, a doctor who fails to explain Isaac che.
Once the crime scene photos taken and regulatory immortalized, rescuers eventually release the stretcher to transport the body of Rochelle – which is probably the body, the autopsy himself realizes, once arrived at the morgue.
For now, however, they do not want to leave Van Buskirk. Indeed, without understanding why they feel responsible for the kidnapping, and this prevents them from feeling, for the record run both places.
Rochelle said yesterday that for some reason fails to explain the presence of difficulty in William. William quickly realized it he appeared, and it was decided that Rochelle Van Buskirk in doubt.
However, there is a hard, believe Van Buskirk – William is too smart to not notice. If anyone in the world able to guess, one eye, nature of the relationship between two persons, on the condition of William Peters.
For this reason he decided to start because all of these, he says.
Do not know how to react when he learns the truth William. And honestly, they do not particularly want to think about. Now, he is calm and healthy to enjoy these days, prefers, and only Rochelle and bustle of Pittsburgh itself, they narrowly escaped from the assailants is unknown – from the office of organizations, and business generally has a sordid daily.
Rochelle in his room sleeps, apparently peaceful. A few nights before he was tormented to remember the day when she came out screaming in a nightmare, she is soon forgotten. May be painful, repressed memories, his subconscious effort, increasing the surface – memories of her abduction, she thinks. The surface has barely been touched yet, and Rochelle’s memory black hole, remains opaque and inaccessible as the others.
Time, perhaps – will fill the void of time, unconsciously realized that what he is not ready yet to enter. What? Van Buskirk and William is an alternative – to completely fail, but they still need to consider – Isaac only hope that both of them, sooner or later, may eventually adhere to recover. But each passing day, each day that no progress is more likely to make this less likely. His condition is completely stabilized, it is synonymous with an experienced eye doctor Isaac Was the bad news. For one another.
At the FBI, the unpleasant feeling that the situation is already beginning to settle.Research on the course, but we all know, and Isaac the first, five days after the survey does not provide any indication, the less chance now to find out. They are very good specialists, after all, the agents can search for all discoverable.
And for all, as much as he, perplexed with.
Rochelle body, he will eventually return to his family tomorrow, then that part resigned to the murder weapon, without more information than is provided in nature. A funeral will be held in the form of sunk in that simple state of shock.
Visit Van Buskirk and William also said a lot without finding that the initial response. Horrors of what he experienced and hands, and most importantly why?

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